Flooded ... too flooded to elaborate

I'm feeling the need to blog again but I don't feel I have the words yet to describe our flood story accurately.  For now just know that we are still here and we are still carrying on.  Our lives are flooded with hope, lessons, gratitude and a few memories we still need to process.

The months since my last blog have been busy with many ups and downs.  Obviously the flood and cleanup has taken much of it.  At first not knowing how we would make out, then thankfully having only lost the basment, but now our house sits in the floodway with the option of a buyout if we chose.  Doing the insurance dance of course hasn't always been fun but we are thankfully covered.  Worrying about our many friends and our lovely town, watching so many great people fall to their knees in desperation.  It's been humbling to say the least.  Our biggest and most important obstacle has been of course, helping our boys make their way through the emotions attached to that has consumed most of us.  They are really both so intune with other people's emotions and it's so hard to disperse them, it has been difficult.  Which brought us to us to welcoming into our home some Mercy, in the form of a sweet little pup.  We needed her, she needed us, her name is very fitting.  Dealing with a bit of PTSD of my own of course, but making sure to keep it as quiet as possible as to not rock the already delicate boat that is our home right now. 

Adam snuggling Mercy

Our current issue is in debating options for Aaron as he keeps searching for a "cure" for his aspergers and tourettes.  We started him on intuniv tonight.  It's our first drug trial and I feel ill about it, but he heard the doctor suggest it and he won't stop asking me about it.  I know he's only 8 and can't make that decision for himself but I don't know how he really feels each day carrying his aspergers and tourettes.  As much as we make sure he knows he is perfection, he is eager to feel better and be less aggressive at home.  So how can I say no to something out of my own fear?  I need to let that go and try to understand what his burden must feel like and if he wants to try medication, then at least we've found one that has had great success in helping others regulate that "fight or flight" feeling that he often gets.  Even though I am petrified and so worried, I have to trust.

So that's the short form of our these past few months.  I'll be back soon....and maybe one day I'll tell our flood story, but maybe not.  I still see the fear of that morning and our escape in my husband's eyes.  There were just a few minutes at the top of that story that I still can't put the right words to but have changed us forever.